If you refuse to tolerate intolerance, are you in fact being intolerant yourself?
September 11th… all hail the memory of Erk!
So today, Patriot Day, the anniversary of the devastation that occurred in New York five years ago. I would like to have a moment of silence to remember all the people who died that day, buried in the rubble, crashed into buildings, or crashed into open fields.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
As human beings, it is detrimental to our health to live in a state of profound agony for extended periods of time. Thus, as time passes, our memories fade and some of the pain goes away. That’s alright! With time, the stinging, jabbing burning pain subsides a little and becomes a deep ache that is revived with a passing thought. This is the way we are built… or designed, if it comforts you to think of it that way. However, I think that it is important to remember those that were ripped away from life due to acts beyond their control. It is important to remember, with dignity everyone who dies so that the preciousness of life is not lost, to be reminded that life can and does end suddenly.
While I believe all of the above to be true, I was still shocked and surprised that the article about September 11th was only 1/4 the size as the head article and was crammed in the lower, left hand corner of the front page. I was glad that it made the front page. For those of you who may have never met him, like myself, Erk Russell was a football coach here at Georgia Southern for several years. Friday morning, I believe, he passed away. I do not know the cause of death. Now, I don’t want to go back on my previous sentiments by undermining his life, but the memorial article on him took up the majority of the first page and one whole side of one of the inside pages. (I’m sorry at the current time I do not have a George-Anne (our paper) to look at for reference.) And when I say ‘whole side’ there was a huge photo of him and some of the football players splashed across the page, no margins, no headline, just picture.
… September 11th and all the people involved got two small articles, a recycled photo from 2004, and a column of students’ comments about what they were doing at the time (at least two of them were in History class).
It just seems wrong to me. Yes, Erk should be honored, he was very important to the football program at Georgia Southern and he inspired many people.Yes, his life was important… but so were the thousands that died five years ago… and I almost didn’t see the article.
Number of dead or believed to be dead or missing: 2996 from: www.september11victims.com/victims_list.htm
…a little bit of sweet and a lot of sour.
Well, on the plus side, the weather is really nice out today. I was noticing as I biked home for lunch that the weather feels more and more like Fall. It’s not quite cool enough, but it’s getting there. There was a stiff breeze and it made me feel good.
On the other hand, I just got out of my Psychology of Religion class where I had the professor fill out the Honors Contract sheet. She and I had discussed what would entail Honors credit for the course, but she said that she’d have me write a paper and present it, in the form of a short presentation, to the class. Alright! No problem, right? I’ve written papers and presented them before. Not my strongest field, but doable. I had her write down the outline on the Contract sheet and I nearly died when she wrote: “The student must write a paper 15 – 20 pages in length about a topic related to the class… give a short presentation to the class regarding her findings (about 15 minutes).” Well… it’s not as bad as it could be I guess. But it was nothing like I was imagining.
Now I’m going to share a little secret with you readers. In my entire college career the longest paper I’ve ever had to write was 10 pages (and I think I did nine to nine and a half ). I’ve never had to write a paper as long as 15-20 pages! You can’t bullshit that amount! I’ve gotten to where I can write a 3-4 page paper at the drop of a hat, not even crack the book, and have it turn out fairly good. Max time to completion an hour 45 minutes. This… this paper… I’ll have to work non-stop from the moment I get home tonight until whenever we decide that it’s due. And a fifteen minute presentation. I’ll have to brush up the public speaking skills. The longest presentation I’ve had to do… ever… has been ten minutes.
I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been ‘lucky’ to get easy classes. Maybe I’ve been handicapped. However, just because I have been handed this assignment that I’m not at all accustomed to, nor prepared for, doesn’t mean that I can’t do a kick-ass job on it. And I will. And I won’t be able to brag to a single soul once I have accomplished this killer assignment, because everyone will have already done it… tenfold. And that makes me sad… deep in my heart. Which takes away everything the good weather has done…
My spirit is gloomy and black…
I just have such a hard time being happy, lately. I am frustrated, angry, defensive, depressed, not just sad, and utterly miserable. And the worst part about this is I don’t have any clue why. I’ll be upset about something and I’ll think that that is the cause, but then something else comes along and I think, “No, that’s why I’m gloomy.” I feel like I’m being weighted down by something and all I want to do is laugh and smile again. I have such a terrible self-image right now. There’s nothing about me that seems alright. I’m gaining weight instead of losing it. I’m working out and eating better and staying active, but it’s just not doing any good. Because I’m easily angered now and defensive about stupid shit, my best friend no longer wanted to talk to me. Which, of course made me feel worse. I feel like I can’t even control it anymore, like depression is oozing out of my pores.
Right now, I’m just trying anything to relieve it. Sometimes writing about it helps, so that’s why this is here. It also seems like the world is trying to explode. There seems to be so much corruption that I can barely breathe. I used to not care. As long as that stuff didn’t effect me directly… I’d leave it alone. But since I came to college, I’ve started being more outspoken and active about things that I think are not right or unfair. Much of this change was inspired by my friend that I upset. I was impressed by his eagerness and drive. I do enjoy being active as compared to the alternative, apathetic me. But the problem, I think, is I can’t turn it off. If a whole bunch or people and/or organizations decide to be morons and engage a bunch of stupid shit, I care about it all. I want to change it all. And if I don’t, I feel guilty for not trying. Hell, I can’t even keep up with the news about said organizations. No matter how much I read and try to find and verify sources and stuff, I’m always behind. Of course, that makes me feel bad too, because me activist friend has been informed for days now and I have absolutely no new information.
I’m already falling behind in my classes. I have a test today in Psychology of Religion and I haven’t even cracked the book. That is the same class that I Honors contracted so that one day… when I’m like eighty or something, I’ll graduate with Honors. That’s another thing. Everyone’s graduating around me. I’m not even due to graduate until the end of this school year, but now I feel like I was a fool to take my earlier years easier. I didn’t take many hours at all. I had lots of free time. I didn’t even join Marching Band my first year, for fear that my schedule would get too busy. Other people have worked really hard and deserve all the credit they get, but if I take too much, I fry. I just can’t compete. I now have no plans for my future. Google is one of those organizations that is doing stupid shit and I don’t feel like supporting them with my hard work.
I’m sorry to all readers if I sound all angsty and self-pitiful, but I have to write this to attempt to get it out of my system.
I missed my Tai-Chi class, which may have done me good. But on the other hand, it may not have. My section leader being the stellar bitch she is, shouted at me and two other piccolos for missing a our entry after several rests. She didn’t actually shout loud, but she did that whole stern face, “You guys that is NOT GOOD!” pseudo-authoritative stance. (She’s only about five-three.) So by the time I left band I was boiling angry. If God himself had appeared in front of me in all his spender, I would have slugged him because he got in my way.
